PRINCE OF PERSIA - A Review and Lament For a Great Franchise Turned Epic Fail

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME Review:

- It pains me to say it, but Prince of Persia falls just shy of being a truly epic fail. The movie is just broken on so many levels, and it sort of symbolizes exactly how a big budget blockbuster can go wrong. It's such a frustrating film, because you've got a seemingly talented director at the helm, some A-list actors in the cast, and a can't-miss concept derived from one of the most influential game series of all time. What the hell? How does such a promising movie end up in the proverbial toliet?

First of all, part of the reason why POP is so disappointing is that it looked like, finally, Hollywood was going to make a videogame adaptation that didn't completely suck. For those that don't know, Prince of Persia is one of the truly groundbreaking videogame series. The original game forever changed the sidescrolling genre in the early days of gaming, introducing a more methodical, cerebral pace and featuring then-unprecedented animation and fluidity. Later, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time became a game-changing hit during the era of the early days of the Playstation 2. It was one of the best 3D adventures to hit consoles yet - brimming with evocative atmosphere, and featuring a great new gameplay mechanic in the ability to turn back time and give yourself a do-over upon making a critical mistake. Still, all that the movie needed to do was to capture the game's striking ambiance and mood, and create a story that took advantage of the game's captivating setting.

So ... why is Prince of Persia an ultra-generic, C-grade action movie with no real style to speak of? Instead of being an atmospheric mind-bender like the game, the movie recycles every blockbuster cliche in the book, and just happens to be set in ancient Persia. The story here is so by-the-numbers it hurts. There's not a single shocking twist or jaw-dropping reveal. The "surprise" villain is obvious from the first five minutes of the film. Not a single character pops. Great actors like Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina are stuck playing absolutely generic and boring characters. Something went very, very wrong here.

Visually, Prince of Persia is a shoddy presentation, and I expected much better. This was marketed as the next Pirates of the Carribean. Well, I have seen Pirates of the Carribean. I am a big fan of Pirates of the Carribean. And Prince of Persia, well, it ain't no Pirates of the Carribean. Not by a longshot. Those movies had character. They had imagination. They looked visually spectacular thanks to the still-underrated Gore Verbinski. Prince of Persia is total weaksauce in comparison. Most scenes seem to take place on hastily-assembled backlot sets. The CGI is messy and unfinished-looking. The costuming is bland. And everything feels far too small-scale for a would-be epic movie. There are lots of sweeping establishing shots randomly inserted into the film as if to reassure us "no, see, this IS an epic movie!" Not really. Meanwhile, the editing feels ultra-sloppy. The movie jumps from one scene to another with reckless abandon, and the effect is that we're often left feeling disoriented and taken out of the already-confusing story. There are one or two decently inventive action scenes, but the editing is choppy-as-hell on those too. There are only a few directors who can totally pull off the super-quick-cut action style - Ridley Scott, Paul Greengrass ... Well, Mike Newell tries to (or was forced to) emulate the oh-so-in-vogue rapid-fire action stylings of those directors, and stumbles pretty badly. I mean, the plot of this movie is tiresome enough - without compelling action scenes to give the movie a jolt, it's basically got nothin'.

I'll give Newell and his team SOME credit. There are a couple of cool touches, mostly early on in the film, that evoke the game's inventive platforming mechanics. But these are only fleeting moments in the movie, and most of the time, the film's attempts to mimic the game just seem stupid. Ugh. Hey, movie producers: when adapting a videogame, you don't need to make characters in the film version adhere to videogame physics and other such crap! We don't need movie characters double-jumping or pressing "reset" buttons or other nonsense. Just make a movie that captures the world and setting and atmosphere of a game! Is that so hard? Emulate the art-style, the MUSIC! Games are not movies. The story in games is there to serve the needs of the gamesplay, as are the play mechanics. Did Jake Gyllenhaal in this movie really need to jump around like a roided-up ape? Did that help the movie in any way? Again: ugh.

Speaking of Gyllenhaal, I'm sorry, but he was totally miscast in this movie. I'm a fan of his - he's great at playing quirky, introspective characters, and that's been his bread and butter ever since Donnie Darko. But he just looks goofy-as-all-hell as a would-be action movie hero. Gyllenhaal's quirkiness makes way too many scenes in Prince of Persia feel unintentionally funny. You never buy him for a second as a prince of ancient Persia. And he just looks wonky - he has the body of a pro-wrestler but the face of a smirking hipster. And he speaks with a totally random English accent, as does everyone in the film, although his is easily the goofiest.

It doesn't help that the movie is written in an over-the-top style that tries to be cute and quippy but is mostly just groan-inducing. Despite the ancient-Persia setting, characters make all-too-modern jokes and references that make you want to reach through the screen and punch someone. Even worse, there are lots of OVERT references to the Iraq war and current politics that are so lame, so heavy-handed, that they make the movie's plot even stupider and more laughable than it already is. I seriously felt bad for guys like Alfred Molina though, who, playing a cliched, greedy merchant, is saddled with some of the lamest "dialogue" one could imagine. A couple of kids in the audience chuckled at his funny facial expresions and comedic timing, but that was all Molina trying desperately to make the material work.

And that again speaks to just how generic the characters are. I didn't care about a single one. Even the titular Prince is just sort of there. We get that he's supposed to be a bit roguish and a bit more sensitive than his war-mongering brothers, but that's about it. Gyllenhaal's prince will certainly not go down as the next iconic movie hero, that's for sure. Like I said, Kingsley and Molina give it the ol' college try, but it's not enough - they have nothing to work with. Gemma Arterton might actually be the one real standout, as a stunning princess tasked with protecting the mystical dagger that can control time. Arterton is actually one of the few in the film who seems to get the sort of movie she's in, and she does a nice job. It's funny though, because she was just in Clash of the Titans, and the similarities between that and Prince of Persia are pretty widespread. Both suffer from choppy editing, generic characters, and nonsensical plotlines. The difference was that CLASH had some real visual pop, with a couple of kickass action scenes to its credit. At the least, Clash felt a little grittier, a little more hardcore. Prince of Persia is almost disturbing in the way it handles violence. It's all Disney-fied, very little blood or gore. And yet, people are getting killed by swords and arrows left and right. It's almost comical when you think of the standards and practices this movie was likely subjected to. The prince kills dozens of random dudes with no remorse or regret? Cool, go for it. But, god forbid there's any blood or graphic violence - we wouldn't want to harm the children in the audience!

It's hard to believe that a big-budget action movie like this could be so boring and bland. I was expecting something at least on the level of The Mummy, but no, not even close. At least there, Stephen Sommers infuses his films with manic energy, imaginative visuals, and nonstop, over-the-top action. Everyone in this movie just seems lost or bored. There's not a single memorable action scene or visual, except for one or two sort-of-fun nods to the source material. The story is barely-there and makes little sense. The characters are so lazily-constructed it physically hurts. There are a couple of fun touches, but the movie never goes far enough into camp so as to be a good time. It actually wants us to take its lameness seriously, but we can't. The hero is weak, goofy, and miscast. The villains are blah - Jafar from Aladdin needs to come in and kick all their asses and show them how it's done. Maybe Hollywood will get it right one of these times. Maybe when screenwriters and directors from my generation break in, when people who actually get games and games culture and what makes a franchise like Prince of Persia great start making these movies, maybe that's when they'll actually get good. Until then, don't get your hopes up. Then again, on second thought, maybe we should just take a moment and look at the reality of pop-culture in 2010. Games are the new blockbusters anyways. In a lackluster summer filled with crappy movies, maybe it's time we stopped supporting box-office junk and turned our attention to a medium that continues to deliver new experiences and innovative entertainment. For years, games were trying to catch up to Hollywood production values and storytelling. Now, as this movie clearly illustrates, more often than not it's the other way around.

My Grade: C-

MACGRUBER Brings the Funny, and MORE!

Finally -- three day weekend! It's been a long week, but I am ready to kick back, chill out, and relax. Plus, one week from today, I'll be on a plane to CT for a week on the east coast. That's right - just in time to see the CELTICS kick ass in the NBA Finals.

Congrats to the Celtics on a huge win tonight. But, oh man, what a crazy game Thursday night between the Lakers and the Suns. Definitely one of the most exciting games of the playoffs thus far, although it was a tough loss for the Suns. What a series of back-and-forth baskets to close the game though. Hey, I guess Ron Artest was overdue for a big play, right? I will say though, TNT continues to be the best in the biz at NBA coverage. The pregame, halftime, and postgame Inside the NBA shows are all continually entertaining, and practically comedy shows in and of themselves. And kudos to Marv Albert for a great interview with President Obama earlier this week. Obama knows his hoops, and hey, he even had a "Question For Charles," in which he reminded the Round Mound of Rebound to stick to his diet. Meanwhile, the Celtics had a huge victory tonight in what was, to me, a must-win game against the Magic. If Orlando had managed to force a Game 7, it could have been disasterous for the Celtics, so I'm glad that the C's were able to close out the Magic and earn some time to rest up before the Finals.

I will say this about LA: I still do not like Kobe and the Lakers, but, I do enjoy being in a place where people actually pay attention to the NBA. I'm sure in CT the Celtics will be buried on the back page of the Sports Section behind some crap news about the latest UCONN Huskies drama. Lame.

- I am still not caught up on CHUCK. My DVR deleted the season finale because it inadvertantly got too full. But, I plan to finally catch it over the weekend thanks to the magic of digital distribution. Also need to catch up on the FOX Sunday Night finales as well as this week's JUSTIFIED. I was just so burnt-out on TV for a few days there following Lost and 24, I couldn't deal.

- That said ... deleting 24 and Lost from my DVR season-pass list ... very, very sad.

- Anyways, I know the movie has already sort of arrived and bombed, but, I want to go to bat a bit for one of the funnier movies i've seen in a while ...

MACGRUBER Review:

- MacGruber very quickly flopped at the box-office, and that's too bad. The fact is, it's a pretty hilarious comedy - an over-the-top, very-random movie that is, frankly, the kind of comedy you don't see a lot of anymore. It's strictly comes from the same cartoonish lineage as wacky parody movies like The Naked Gun and Hot Shots. Actually, the latter is a pretty good reference point. If you've been waiting for a Hot Shots, Part 3 (and really, who hasn't been?), then MacGruber is for you. It's a pitch-perfect parody of 80's action flicks. So if you worship at the altar of Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and occasionally, Steven Seagal, then please, go see MacGruber at once.

Here's the thing: I get why MacGruber is a near-impossible movie to market. It's a full-length film based on the flimsiest of characters - a recurring Saturday Night Live sketch that is basically a one-joke parody of TV's MacGuyver. On SNL, MacGruber was maybe good for a chuckle or two, but the sketches were never all that great, and quickly overstayed their welcome. As is typical of SNL, the character was brought back over and over again and what should have been a one-time gag was endlessly shoved down our throats. So, yeah, there was plenty of reason to be skeptical of a MacGruber movie. But, the lack of substance of the sketches ultimately proved to be a boon for the movie. Will Forte and co. were basically forced to start their story from scratch, and they found a great angle to center the movie around: forget about specifically parodying MacGuyver, or about working from the limited formula of the sketches, and just use MacGruber as the starting point from which the movie can poke fun at all sorts of old-school action movie conventions and cliches.

The movie throws a lot at you, but what's important in a crazy comedy like this is that the percentage of jokes that work remains high. And I think MacGruber succeeds on that count. I was laughing pretty consistently throughout the film, and there are several moments that are simply drop-dead hilarious. There is an extended sex scene in the movie that is easily among the funniest things I've seen at the movies this year. And there are some other moments that are similarly shocking and hilarious. That sex scene is so funny in part because it is a totally spot-on parody of the typical action movie sex scene (reminded me of Highlander in particular). And other parts of MacGruber will be instantly familar to those schooled in the lore of classic action. You've got your Rambo-style opening, your Predator-esque "recruiting the team of badasses" sequence (complete with multiple handshakes-o-doom) and you've got your classic villain hellbent on revenge, with Val Kilmer playing a sort of bizarro version of Steven Seagal.

MacGruber also works so well because it has some great, legit action-movie actors, like Kilmer, going all-out - playing their parts with the same intensity as if they were in a drama. Kilmer is a riot as the weapon-obsessed villain. POWERS BOOTHE is friggin' awesome as the Colonel, basically every badass action-movie mentor figure rolled into one. But he's Powers Boothe, so he's totally badass even as his natural awesomeness makes his lines that much more hilarious. Ryan Philipe does a pretty decent job playing the straight man to MacGruber's wacky antics. And a pack of WWE wrestlers put in some very funny cameos in the early part of the movie, with Chris Jericho in particular getting in a couple of great lines (no surprise there - Jericho's always had a knack for comedy). Kristin Wiig sells her lines well as always, as MacGruber's faithful companion Vicki St. Elmo. And Maya Rudolph shows up as the ghost of MacGruber's wife, which leads to one of the movie's funniest and most out-there scenes. As for Will Forte, he's really good in this. He's a guy who's had his ups and downs on SNL, but MacGruber plays directly to Forte's strengths as a comedian - playing crazy, loony characters who don't quite realize the extent of their own absurdity.

Once in a while, certain jokes fall flat, and some of the repetition of certain recurring gags can become a bit much after a while. But, a lot of MacGruber works, and in the end, it's a seriously entertaining comedy. It's stupid fun, but you've got to appreciate a movie that so lovingly parodies the genre its spoofing. Possible comedy cult classic? Definitely potential.

My Grade: B+


Next up: a review of PRINCE OF PERSIA!

Unlike Other Robin Hoods, I Can Speak With An English Accent. ROBIN HOOD - Reviewed!

Man, talk about writing fatigue. I went all-out to write up fitting final reviews of both LOST and 24, and after those epic entries, I definitely needed at least a short break from the blog. At the same time, I've got a lot more to talk about, so ... let's go.



ROBIN HOOD Review:

- Robin Hood is not a horrible movie. In fact, it's a pretty good film. So I was surprised at all of the venom hurled at it by critics who each seemed to have their own vision of what a Robin Hood movie should be. I do agree that there is sometimes a generic feeling with this one. What was originally supposed to be a new twist on the old story, casting the Sherrif of Nottingham as the hero and Robin Hood as the villain, instead is a much more straightforward take on the classic Robin Hood tale. Not only that, but it's basically the "Batman Begins" version of Robin Hood - a dark, gritty, spawling origin story that ends in the place where most Robin Hood stories begin. Really, the movie is pretty much exactly what you'd expect when you hear "Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe do Robin Hood." What does that mean in terms of quality? Well, look, this isn't the best thing since sliced bread, but at the same time, it's Ridley Scott doing a badass historical action movie. You know there's going to be a certain level of quality there. You know you're going to get some great acting from Crowe and company. You know you'll get a kickass battle or two. To me, Robin Hood was an entertaining flick. It had some issues, sure, but overall, I say the critics were too harsh. Robin Hood is worth checking out if you're a fan of Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, or if you just want to see a big historical epic with bows and arrows and swords.

Robin Hood essentially tells the story of the circumstances that led to Robin becoming an outlaw and a populous hero following the Crusades. In this movie, "Robin Hood" does not quite exist yet - instead, Russell Crowe plays Robin Longstride - a soldier in the Crusades who assumes a dead man's identity, and eventually his life. Robin Longstride becomes Robin of Loxley, and what begins as a con on the part of Robin eventually sees him embrace his new identity as his own. He becomes a hero to a people who are being mercilessly taxed by the in-over-his-head Prince John, and bullied by John's ruthless lieutenant Godfrey. Robin is there to lead the uprising against the throne, and in doing so seeks to win the trust of the family his new identity has led him to - Sir Walter Loxley, a fallen noble, and Marion Loxley, his daughter-in-law.

Look, I am a sucker for melodramatic, gravitas-infused period-piece dialogue spoken by great / badass actors (and really, who isn't?) and Robin Hood has a lot of it. Russell Crowe on some level isn't really who you imagine as Robin Hood - he's too old, too big, etc. But on another level, Crowe has that rebellious, rock n' roll edge to him that makes him suited towards playing an anti-authority troublemaker. In this version of the story in particular, Robin is not just a mischevious archer, but a leader and a soldier. So Crowe does in fact work well in the role, and he does his usual bang-up job. Crowe is one of the best leading-man actors around, and he's as intense as ever in this one. That said, there isn't a ton of meat to the Robin character - he's more Russell Crowe than anything - gruff and softspoken until it's time to turn up the volume and kick ass. Not a huge dramatic stretch for Crowe, but hey, mostly, it works.

Meanwhile, there's a superb supporting cast around him. Mark Strong is excellent as Godfrey - all glowering and evil-like. Oscar Isaac is a scene-stealer as Prince John - it's sort of a similar role to that of Joquin Phoenix in Gladiator, but hey, Isaac screaches curses like the instant-classic "YOOUU AREE AN OUUUUTLAAWW!" with as much vim and vigor as you could possibly hope for. Danny Huston shows up as the regal King Richard, and there's also an entertaining turn from the great WILLIAM HURT as an ousted advisor to the slightly-psycho prince, who becomes the whistle-blower, alerting people to the corruption and treachery going on at the highest levels of the kingdom. Also, there's Robin's trusted allies, his posse who will eventually become his "merry men." Again, it's a really fun, talented group of actors. Kevin Durand is a standout as Little John. We know from LOST that he is adept at playing the part of badass, and he is similarly good here, and he has some really fun scenes with Crowe. Mark Addy also gets in some good moments as Friar Tuck.

Then, there's Cate Blanchett as Marion. Blanchett is arguably the best actress alive, especially when it comes to fantasy and period pieces. So she's right at home in this one. She has a great presence, and a pretty decent chemistry with Crowe. But, her character is also in a lot of the film's weaker scenes. Part of the problem is that with Crowe, Robin is written in such a way where it sort of feels like it was a part intended for someone younger, but Crowe makes it work anyways. With Marion though, the part clearly feels like it was meant for a much younger actress, and the disconnect is pretty jarring. The fact is, Marion is written as this tough-but-really-naive type, and that just doesn't jive with Blanchett's regal and wise persona.

As an aside, it really does pain me to actually complain about seasoned actors in a movie like this. SO MANY action films cast actors that are way too young and/or young-seeming in parts where the story calls for real MEN and real WOMEN. Personally, I think it's cool that Crowe and Blanchett were cast as opposed to some teen idol types with no actual acting ability or presence. BUT ... once Crowe and Blanchett were cast, the script should have been altered to better reflect the fact that the two leads were clearly both past 40. Too often, for example, their relationship feels very young romance-ish and not like a bond between two people who have likely been around the block a few times.

Overall, Robin Hood's script is problematic at times. There is clearly some really strong writing at its core, but you can sort of tell that the movie went through the studio machine one too many times. The result is a story that feels like it incorporates elements from a few different movies into one film, and that makes for an overly complex but ultimately jumbled narrative. The movie's opening really needs tightening up, as it takes forever to establish the large cast of characters and set up the many different plot threads. The problem is that Robin kind of stumbles into this whole adventure. That's fine at first, but in the middle of the movie the momentum has yet to really pick up, because there's not necessarilly any real heated rivalry between Robin and Prince John or Godfried. In any case, the movie ends up being overlong and overstuffed. Unfortunately, it's one more Ridley Scott movie where you get the sense there's some way more awesome Director's Cut filed away somewhere.

But hey, this IS Ridley Scott here. The man is one of *the* all-time great directors, and even though he's saddled with a hacked-up script, he still directs the hell out of this movie. He doesn't have a lot of opportunity to really go to town for the film's first half ... but when the action picks up later on, the movie really gets a shot in the arm thanks to some kickass action courtesy of Mr. Scott. As I said, the movie drags a lot in the beginning, and then at times in its middle section as well. But, the final acti is basically one continuous action scene that builds and builds, and it's a series of highly entertainign sequences - brilliantly staged and executed. Ridley just has a knack for pulling off those giant war / battle scenes on an epic scale, and also for making sure to include those killer dramatic moments in the heat of battle that give the characters a chance to shine. Robin Hood has some great little moments that are vintage Ridley Scott - the elder Loxley blind-swordfighting with his last strength to defend his home, and Robin firing off a climactic arrow shot towards the movies end are two examples. So, if you're on the fence about seeing this, my opinion is that the stunning action of the final act makes the movie worth checking out, no question. Ultimately, I think the movie ends on a high note. The great action and some satisfying closing story developments end the movie well, to the point where it leaves you surprisingly jazzed for a potential sequel, now that the pieces have all been moved into place.

But, the fact that a movie can start out so slowly but ultimately end so well is troubling in its own way. It means that the movie COULD have been truly great, if it had been created with a more singular vision, and not morphed from one movie to another to another over the course of its development cycle. As it stands, the movie has enough killer scenes - dramatic speeches, cool action, fun setup for a possible next chapter - that it's perfectly servicable as setup for a could-be-much-better sequel. Scott remains one of the most talented directors around too - I just really want him to make a couple more GREAT movies. This is, after all, the guy who gave us BLADE RUNNER, ALIEN, and GLADIATOR. Can someone please hook him up with one more legitimately great script so he can really cut loose? In that respect, Robin Hood is slightly frustrating, because it has some of the elements of a great film, but it's too disjointed and jumbled to really put them all together. But it's still a fun movie - an entertaining adventure that is much better than some might want to admit.

My Grade: B+


- Check back soon for more, everyone. Almost the weekend!

24's FINAL COUNTDOWN: The End of Twenty-Four and the Final Jack Bauer Hour of Power!

- And so it ends. After eight seasons of action, of intensity, of twists and turns and countless cries of "DAMMIT!", 24 has finally had its final countdown. In a week of television filled with huge finales and much-hyped events, the end of 24 is perhaps the biggest story of all. Because 24 changed TV. It changed pop-culture. It made serialized storytelling on American television viable again. It made Jack Bauer into an icon. And, at the end of the day, it was just plain awesome. 24 was the best TV show of the last decade. It had its ups and downs, sure, but no show, ever, was more exciting, more must-see, or more fun. Lost was a show to analyze, to dissect. But 24 was a show to lose yourself in, to get caught up in the heightened reality of it all, to call your friends about with exclamations of "did you SEE what Jack did?" 24 was the most fun I've ever had watching TV, and oh man, it's sad to see it end. Sure, some will say it got stale, and sometimes, that seemed true. But every year brought with it the promise of a new day, a new adventure. Discovering just what craziness the show had in store for Jack *this* time was half the fun. Over the years, 24 became politicized. It became overanalyzed. But 24 was, really, escapist entertainment at its finest. It was the story of a new kind of badass hero of and for our times. A man who didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't waste words. A man who spent every waking second in a given day kicking ass and taking names and doing whatever he had to to get the job done. That man was JACK F'N BAUER, and I'm here to salute one of the all-time kickass fictional heroes. Maybe 24 wasn't for everyone, but 24 was a show that separated the men from the boys. This was a show that continually strived to kick ass. To bring the pain. To make our jaws drop and our heads explode from sensory overload. 24 was a take-no-prisoners, no-holds-barred, thrill-a-minute adventure, and there won't ever be another show quite like it again.

For me, 24 has been THE must-see TV show of the last ten years. It debuted in 2001, just as my then-favorite show, The X-Files, was headed towards its conclusion. Immediately, 24 became my new go-to show. I had already been anticipating its arrival prior to the pilot. I was a huge fan of creator Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran's previous action serial, La Femme Nikita, and eagerly sought out any news about what their next project would be. I was psyched for 24, curious about its unusual real-time format, and eager to see how Kiefer Sutherland would fare as an action hero. I clearly remember gathering with roommates and friends in our dorm at BU's Shelton Hall to watch that first episode. It was such a rush of adrenaline, such an intriguing setup, that we were all immediately hooked. From that point on, 24 was the show that everyone gathered together to watch. When new episodes aired, we put aside our school work, dimmed the lights, and sat enthralled for the duration of what would come to be known affectionately by fans as the Jack Bauer Power Hour. 24 was the best show to watch with buddies - there were always those moments where you just had to look over at your friend and exclaim "daaaaaaaamn!" Even when I watched the show alone, I'd immediately pick up the phone and call a friend and fellow fan and go over all the crazy stuff that went down on a given week's episode. Hell, when I spent a semester studying abroad in London, circa 2003, I was so intent on not missing an episode that I dutifully downloaded each new episode from various file-sharing sites as soon as humanly possible. Keep in mind, this was 2003 - the episodes were NOT easy to find, and downloading one via our slow British connection would often take several hours, if not more. But man, I vividly remember my friend Chris coming to visit me in London from Oxford where he was studying. When he found out I had the latest 24 episodes on my computer, his eyes lit up. There we were, in London, huddled around my laptop watching Jack Bauer kick ass. What can I say? 24 was the TV version of crack. Ask anyone who watched the show via DVD, and tried telling themselves they'd watch "just one more episode." 24 was a show that didn't even thrive commercially until it took off on DVD, just as the medium was blossoming in the early 00's. It was a game-changer. It set the precedent for how shows were marketed off-air, how DVD's were released to promote upcoming seasons of shows. It changed the way people watched TV forever.

In college, I got my friends and roommates hooked on 24, and 24 gatherings and parties were a regular occurance. I got my brother hooked, even my dad. In fact, it was, for a while, one of the few shows I can ever remember him making a point to watch with any regularity. Here in LA, I've continued to enjoy 24 with friends who shared an appreciation for the show's innate awesomeness. It sounds funny, but 24 was one of those shows that acted as a common bond. Meet someone who's a fellow fan, and you instantly have something in common. As geeky as it sounds, 24 has long been one of the most fun shows to read and talk about. I loved going online and reading as all the crazed fanboys went nuts for the latest episode. I loved all the little catchphrases that us fans tossed around - the more absurd the better. We joked about the JACK SACK, the power of ZOMBIE ALMEIDA and his SOULPATCH, popularized the POTUS, made fun of the infamous COUGAR TRAP, christened the likes of BLACK BAUER and RACK BAUER and NAKED MANDY and AARON PIERCE: AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D, uploaded data in REAL TIME to our PDA's, unleashed many a "DAMMIT!", and never got tired of using Kiefer Sutherland's favorite word (that being GRAVITAS~!) as much as humanly possible. In times of trouble we simply asked ourselves "What Would Jack Bauer Do?", and came up with enough examples of Jack Bauer's awesomeness so as to make Chuck Norris cry himself to sleep.

I've been writing about 24 for as long as I've been writing this blog, and 24 was always my favorite show to write about over all these years. Other shows demanded in-depth analysis and careful critiques. 24, more often than not, allowed me to let loose and just go with my gut. Many times, I had no desire to overanalyze 24. I'd just log into my blog, still on an adrenaline high from the Hour of Power, and just let my enthusiasm run wild. Sometimes, there'd be a lull in the show that lent itself to a more serious critical write-up. For most of this most recent season, in fact, it was hard to muster up that old feeling of excitement. But 24 could always surprise you. Just last week, I logged on and that old-school energy was pouring from my brain down to my fingertips. I was in full-on rant n' rave mode, and I was once again feelin' the 24 love. And that, to me, is what 24 has always been about - getting yourself into that emotional state of pure escapism, where your rational brain shuts down and your inner thirteen-year-old fanboy kicks in. It's about getting your heart-pounding, about raising your fist in glory, about being ready to rock n' roll. It's about being ready to kick ass and take names, and about getting your ass kicked by Jack Bauer's awesomeness and saying "thank you Sir, may I have another?"

24 was Jack Bauer. It was Tony SOUL PATCH Almeida. It was AARON F'ING PIERCE. It was Nina Myers, the first mole, Teri Bauer, the first evidence of the show's dark brutality, it was Chloe O'Brien, Jack's goofy but loyal pal. It was Edgar and Curtis and Naked Mandy and Peter Weller, aka ROBOCOP, and Jon Voight as Jonas Hodges. It was Salazar and BILL BUCHANAN and Kim Bauer and the Cougar Trap o' Doom. It was Chapelle shot in the head and Xander Berkley taking that plane down into the heart of the nuclear reactor. It was PRESIDENT PALMER, aka President Gravitas, and his Lady MacBeth of a wife Sherry, and his brother Wayne, and their whole messed-up, dysfunctional family. It was BERRROOOOOZ and his mother and the terrorist threat next door. It was Morris and Milo and one-armed CHASE and the hacksaw, aka the moment when Jack was shown to be truly hardcore. It was MICHELLE DESSLER, who I still wish they hadn't killed, who stole many scenes and maybe even a few hearts. It was Graham (Graem?) Bauer and MORE CC's! It was Daddy Bauer and that kid who was just maybe Jack's son. It was LOGAN and his sleazy, snake-like scheming, and MRS. LOGAN, she who ended up in the arms of Aaron. It was Renee Walker and those Russian gangsters and yes, even Cole, who in the end wasn't all that bad. It was nukes and more nukes and a single tear from Jack's eye. It was Dennis Hopper with his "Mister Bow-er ..." and Tobin Bell and Kurtwood "bitches leave" Smith and POWERS BOOTHE and Operations from La Femme Nikita, who we never really found out what he was up to. The Bluetooth Mafia and the neverending conspiracies of white guys who were really behind everything. It was PDA's and real-time SAT tracking and perimeters that never, EVER worked. It was Jack shooting that one guy's wife and cutting off that one guy's finger. It was awesome music that went from badass John Carpenter-style synth to sweeping orchestral scoring. It was split-screen chaos and real-time chatter. It was silent clocks and stunning cliffhangers. That "beep-beep-beep" noise and that trademark CTU ringtone - "doo doo, do-do." It was lots of characters, mostly Tony, saying "yeah" a lot in monotone, and huge finales and premieres and event television at its finest. It was Kiefer Sutherland and more Kiefer Sutherland and man, we thank you Kiefer Sutherland, for you truly did ROCK for eight-plus years as Jack Bauer.

It was 24, and it was one hell of a show. One of the best shows. So let's all have a moment of silence, as the Jack Bauer Power Hour finally and sadly runs out of time.


TWENTY BY-GOD FOUR (24!) - Series Finale Review:

- Well, it may have been a rough season for 24, but dammit all, the show pulled through in the end, reminding us one mo' time why it's the best in the biz at what it does. 24 may have gotten off-track for a while, but as the show reached the big finale, it pulled itself together, dusted itself off, stitched up its wounds and put on its combat gear. 24 came out firing tonight, and hells yeah, it went out with a bang.

Truth be told, 24 took us to somewhat unfamiliar narrative territory in this final episode. The focus, in many ways, was squarely on President Taylor and her moral quandary over the depths of depravity she had to sink to in order to get her precious peace treaty signed. Look, I've been as frustrated as anyone else with Taylor over the course of the season. She was made into such a cypher that it was hard to know *what* she was thinking from one episode to the next. She was so easily manipulated by Logan that it was laughable, and she kept digging a deeper hole for herself even as her ability to justify her actions got weaker and weaker. But, screw all that, because in this episode, Cherry Jones was 100% kickass. I'm sure there are still some haters out there, but I thought this episode proved what Jones as Taylor could do given the right material. Sure, all the moral conflict that got us to this point was pretty absurd, but it all came to a head here in the finale, and here, in this episode, it paid off beautifully thanks to Jones and her dynamic acting. Her scenes with Logan, with Dahlia Hassan, and with Jack Bauer were all superbly done, and her ultimate moment of moral clarity was truly intense and ultra-dramatic. In its own way, everything ultimately made sense and came together well. Taylor was a fallen warrior who had compromised her own morals beyond repair, and she recognized that so too was Jack. By episode's end, she realized that Jack truly was a kindred spirit, and suddenly, saving him and giving him one more chance at redemption became the most important thing in the world. Was the episode a little heavy-handed in how it once again made Jack a sympathetic hero, when just last week he was a full-on murderous psychopath? Yeah, probably. But, Jack's fateful face-off with Chloe, combined with the President seeing in Jack a mirror image of her own downward spiral, was just enough to turn the tables and make us once again root for Jack Bauer. Upon reflection, Jack's actions might be deemed irredeemable, but then again, Jack Bauer has always been a sacrificial lamb of sorts - always willing to give up his own life, his own soul, in the name of Justice.

That said, had Jack killed the Russian premiere and started World War III, he really would have been acting recklessly. Luckily, Chloe was there to pull him back from the brink, just in the nick of time. The confrontation between the two old friends was brimming with intensity. Who knew how Jack would react to his only remaining friend coming between him and unholy vengeance? But Chloe injected a dose of sanity into Jack's tortured psyche, and convinced him to do things her way, by exposing the conspiracy via his data disk rather than more murder and violence. It was a fitting climax for 24, a show that's always been about a man, in Jack, who walked a line between justice and brutality, between righteousness and sadism. Ultimately, Jack's final message to Chloe was moving, fitting, and a long-time-coming. Any loyal 24 viewer had to get a little choked up when Jack said his final thank-you to Chloe. It was a great moment, dammit.

In fact, this episode had more than a few vintage 24 moments of awesome. Logan stole many scenes yet again with his weaselly ways. While his squirming at Jack's persistance and resilliancy was amusing, his ultiamte end was shocking and tragic. It made sense though -- Logan's involvement this season was essentially his last, best chance at reviving his good name. When he realized his failure, you could see why he felt there was no choice but to simply end it all. Here's to Logan though, one of 24's all-time greatest villains who you couldn't help but love to hate. And here's to Gregory Itzin, who was a ton of fun to watch whenever he appeared on 24. While Logan being not-quite-dead felt like a slight cheat, part of me is pleased to know that the ex-president is still out there somewhere in the 24-verse, coming up with the ultimate scheme to off Jack Bauer once and for all. We also got a couple more hardcore Jack Bauer moments for old-time's sake. Jack biting off the ear of Logan's stooge was a particular highlight. Jack was bloody, barely concious, and strapped to a stretcher, but sonofabitch, he still was a man not to be messed with.

Seriously though, what can be said about Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer? Kiefer made the role iconic, legendary even. He gave it his all week in and week out. His intensity level was ALWAYS off-the-charts, and he always brought the pain. He brought his A-game once again for this final episode, and you can tell that for Kiefer, 24 was a true labor of love. His intro at the beginning of the episode was a nice touch, too. You can tell that Kiefer poured his heart and soul into Jack Bauer, and for that, you've got to give the man his props. For eight seasons, Jack Bauer has quite simply been ... THE MAN.

And huge props to the rest of the supporting cast for stepping up and delivering the goods. Everyone showed up with their game face on, and this episode contained some of the finest work we've yet seen from many of the show's key role players. Suffice it to say, characters like President Taylor, Charles Logan, and Chloe O'Brien went out with style. Yes, my inner fanboy was hoping for at least a cameo from the likes of Aaron Pierce or even Tony, but hey, I get it, they were never really scheduled to be a part of this season. And you never know, there's always the movie ...

24 may live on in movie form, and I look forward to a big-screen adventure of Jack Bauer and friends. But 24 will always be best-known as a show that changed the TV landscape, that redefinied serialized television for the modern era, that played off the fears of our time, that captured the zeitgeist of the digital-age 00's like no other show of its time. And I was happy to see 24 regain some of its old mojo before all was said and done. From BU to Burbank, 24 has been my favorite show for a long time now. I was a diehard fan. I had the poster on my wall in college. One year, I even dressed as Jack Bauer for Halloween. It's been so much fun watching 24 every week, and almost as fun writing about it here on the blog. So thank you to the cast and crew of 24, and thank you to everyone who I've watched and discussed the show with and who I've called or texted or IM'd immediately following an episode so as to deliver my usual hyperactive reaction.

The final countdown is here. The clock has reached its zero hour. The adventure is over, the ride has come to a stop. But if there's one thing I've learned from 24, it's that you can't keep JACK BY-GOD BAUER down! May we each aspire to kick ass as Jack did, to follow his ways of intensity, of righteousness, and yes, of gravitas. Long live 24!

My 24 Series Finale Grade: A-


DAMMIT, CHLOE, WE'RE OUT OF TIME!

The End of LOST: Thoughts, Ramblings, The Top 20 Episodes, and The Series Finale: Reviewed!

Has any show in the history of television ever been more of a rollercoaster ride than LOST?

Looking back on the show, it's mind-blowing to think of all the highs and lows that the series has had throughout its six-season run. Rarely has a show been so gripping and yet so frustrating. And never before has a single show invited so much discussion and debate. For me and many others, the experience of watching Lost was as much about the communal aspect - of watching it and discussing it and theorizing about it - as it was the episodes themselves.

I think, for good and bad, Lost was able to inspire such intense passion among both fans and detractors because it was, essentially, a blank canvass. The show's themes were so broad, so diverse, that it was easy to transpose one's own ideas into the show's narratives. That blank canvass also allowed a wide array of creators to come in and put their own personal stamp on Lost. For that reason, the show has in turns been pulp adventure, mystic - almost biblical melodrama, cerebral sci-fi, character-driven drama, Twilight Zone-style parable, abstract Lynchian mystery, and about a hundred other things as well. Some people watched Lost in order to get "answers" to the show's constant stream of mysteries (what was with the polar bear? the four-toed statue?). Others watched to get more straightforward narrative resolution (would they ever get off the island?), and others just wanted to see the show's soap opera elements play out (would Kate choose Sawyer or Jack?). That's why so many episodes of Lost were so divisive - one critic would come away satisfied with the character development, and declare the episode a success, while another would express frustration with the lack of narrative momentum, and declare the episode a misfire. By the time LOST got to its much-anticipated series finale, there were the wide-eyed fanboys and fangirls who unconditionally loved the show, the cynical haters who had grown disillusioned with it, and those in-betweeners who recognized that the show was flawed, but that it still, at the end of a day, was a pop-cultural experience worth partaking in.

I've been writing about Lost here on the blog for as long as I've been blogging. It's pretty crazy, looking back on all my past reviews and reliving some of those high and low points in the series' history. There was a time, probably somewhere in the middle of Season 2, where I was so fed up with the show that I was seriously considering dropping it. A lot of people did - ratings went down significantly, and some of the people that left never came back. A lot of people got onboard much later, via DVD, Hulu, etc. - when critical and fan buzz picked up around Season 4. But again, I don't want to look at Lost with rose-colored glasses. It had some amazing episodes, some amazing seasons (1, 4), even. But it was also a show that tested the patience of all but its most devoted fans on many occasions. I think many future TV writers and producers will look back on Lost and find a number of things that the show did right, that set the precedent, that raised the bar. But, I also think aspects of Lost will serve as a cautionary tale - as a reminder of some of the pitfalls that can occur in the world of serialized storytelling on television.

Lost introduced so many concepts into the television playbook. On a macro level, Lost's greatest achievement was perhaps that it shattered preconceived notions of TV as a less-capable storytelling medium than film. There were many weeks when LOST was the best blockbuster movie around, rivalling anything at the box office in terms of scale and scope and ambition. Other TV shows paved the way - Star Trek, The Prisoner, Twin Peaks, The X-Files, 24 - but Lost truly kicked off the era of TV as multimedia franchise. Lost was watched in all manner of ways - DVD, online - it spawned books and videogames and endless streams of digital chatter. Again, other shows set the bar, but Lost did all this in a time when TV was struggling - when cheaply-produced reality and game shows were threatening to take over. Lost helped to usher in a new golden age of quality TV, and pushed other series to aim higher. Lost, 24, Veronica Mars, Pushing Daisies, The Sopranos - these were some of the dramas that made people look at television in a new light. How to succeed in a world where people were time-shifting, watching online, surfing the web, etc? Easy - be the franchise that rules all of those realms. Ironically, with Lost and 24 ending, there is a very real fear that we could shift back into the television dark ages. So many Lost imitators have tried and failed to replicate the show's success - Invasion, Surface, Threshold, The Nine, Flashforward, and yes, Heroes - just to name a few. But Lost was a show that showed one age-old axiom to be true - at the end of the day, you can have the best high-concept premise in the world, but without a great story, captivating characters, and a narrative that's built to last, you've got nothing. With that in mind, it's understandable to see why networks might be hesitant to invest in trying to create the next Lost. Still, there will always be those who try to push the medium, and those who want to stake their claim in the new media, franchise-driven wild west. There will be shows like FRINGE, that take the ball and run with it. But you've got to give Lost credit for pushing the boundaries, right up until the end. It aimed high, it challenged its audience. It had whole episodes with characters speaking in subtitles. It had nonlinear narratives and time-shifting mind-$#&#'s. It had complex characters, exotic settings, stirring music, and whole episodes that completely strayed from the show's established narrative structure. Yep, Lost had balls, and it's a fitting legacy to the show that its showrunners sort of coined the term "game-changer." Lost was one, in any number of ways.

Now, the big question frustrated fans will ask is: how much of Lost was planned from the start, and how much did it come together in the end to form a cohesive narrative? Look, if we're being honest with ourselves, I think it's clear that one of Lost's biggest failings was that there was never *really* a singular vision behind it. Sure, a lot of plot elements were retroactively fit into the bigger picture, but I think people will look back on Lost and say "hmm, for a show that was structured as a giant mystery, the payoffs never really came about in a truly rewarding way." I think some of that was network meddling, some of that was the ever-changing roster of creatives behind the scenes (the show suffered when people like Paul Dini, Brian K. Vaughan, and Javier Grillo-Marxuach left the creative team), and some of it was just shortsightedness. This disconnect first really came to light in the Season 1 finale. For months, a litany of questions and mysteries had been introduced, and the entire season had built towards the final moments, in which our heroes finally opened the hatch that had been the source of so much speculation. Lost fans were on the edge of their seats, dying to see what awesome revelation lay below. And then, the unthinkable: Season 1 ended with the hatch door opened, and inside was ... a ladder! At that moment, we got a sense of the kind of frustration that Lost would so often cause from that point on. I don't know if the producers knew what was in the hatch yet, but regardless, it was just bad form to build up a mystery to such an extent and then fail to deliver a payoff. It was, certainly, a bad omen for things to come. And as time passed, the show accumulated a laundry list of unanswered mysteries and contradictions. The Others went from strangely-clad natives to white-collar intellectuals. Walt was built up as having supernatural powers, and then quickly disappeared from the show. At many points, the show's mysteries felt deeply rooted in the pseudo-scientific, but ultimately, all the talk of quantum theory and electromagnetism was thrown out the window in the name of cosmic soap opera and spiritual hocus pocus. It wasn't that we the viewers necessarilly demanded that everything be reconciled, it was that the show constantly seemed to tease us with answers and reveals that rarely ever came - and when they did, it often felt like too little, too late.

On the other hand, sometimes Lost completely surprised us by delivering something incredible, seemingly out of nowhere. Think of "Walkabout," in which Lost became more than just a show about a mysterious island, but became a show about characters like John Locke - atypical, fascinating, and multilayered. Think of the Season 3 finale - easily the show's biggest "holy $%&%!" moment, when what appeared to be flashbacks were revealed as actually being flash-forwards. Think of "The Constant," in which Lost delivered a classic episode of television, a time-bending epic romance for the ages. When Lost brought it's A-game, few shows in the history of TV have been better. No matter your opinion of how things ultimately wrapped up, you can't deny the iconic status of some of those classic episodes.

And what also can't be denied is the overall quality of Lost as a production. Nothing else on network TV could compare. The cast of Lost was second to none, and a strong case could be made for many of performances from the show's stars and supporting players as being award-worthy. Because of the phenomenal actors and actresses, characters like Desmond and Ben transcended their original roles to become true fan favorites, and others like Jack and Sawyer and Locke became far more fascinating and nuanced than we could have ever expected. Every week, whether Lost turned in a classic or a dud, there was still the feeling of watching a mini-movie on TV. The orchestral music, the stunning sets, and the top-notch performances elevated the show to a higher level than it would have inhabited otherwise. Every week's episode was an experience, an event - and that's not something that many shows can claim. If anything, it's the sign of a show that transcended the medium and became more than just another TV show, b ut a genuine pop-culture touchstone.

So here's to LOST - a frustrating, exciting, and unpredictable ride. We'll see you in another life, brotha.


DANNY'S TOP 20 LOST Episodes of All-Time:


1. The Constant

- Epic romance, time-travelling craziness, and Desmond at his most awesome!

2. Through the Looking Glass, Parts 1 and 2

- The flash-forward reveal was one of the greatest twists in TV history.


3. Walkabout

- "Don't tell me what I can't do!"


4. Pilot

- One of the best kickoffs to a TV show ever.


5. The Long Con

- Sawyer at his roguish best.


6. Confirmed Dead

- A kickass introduction to four new characters, each a challenger of the unknown.


7. The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

- Locke and Ben at their ultra-intense best.


8. The Variable

- Jeremy Davies at his twitchy best as Daniel Faraday.

9. Cabin Fever

- Was there ever a more tense moment than when we finally peered inside that spooky cabin?


10. Catch 22

- We see Desmond in another life, brotha.


11. Live Together, Die Alone

- Clancy Brown guests in the riveting origin of how Desmond ended up on the island.


12. Flashes Before Your Eyes

- More of Desmond's cosmic odyssey.


13. I Do

- Kate and Sawyer in a cage - yikes!

14. Happily Ever After
- Desmond and Penny: one mo' time.

15. The Cost of Living

- Mr. Eko, meet the Smoke Monster.



16. The Man From Tallahassee

- A stunning showcase for the great Terry O'Quinn as Locke.


17. Par Avion

- Goth Claire's one and only appearance.


18. Deux Ex Machina

- So long, Boone. One of Lost's first true shockers.


19. Greatest Hits

- A great send-off for Charlie.


20. There's No Place Like Home, Parts 1, 2, 3

- Charles Widmore's men invade the island, all hell breaks loose, things go boom.



LOST Thoughts: THE SERIES FINALE - Reviewed!

- As Sawyer might say .... "sonofabitch." I'm still wrapping my head around that two-and-a-half-hour finale, and it's going to take a long time to fully process everything - not just as pertains to the episode itself, but in terms of how the episode fits into the LOST narrative as a whole. And as is often the case with Lost, this one's going to be hard to talk about in a lot of ways. On a purely emotional level, it was a hell of an episode. The sheer impact of saying goodbye to these great characters, of saying goodbye to this great show, added an extra level of dramatic intensity and emotional weight that made this episode feel big, sweeping, and epic - on a scale that few if any previous episodes of Lost have reached. In terms of emotional payoff, this episode delivered.

It's funny though, because after years of speculation, of theories, of debate - LOST ultimately ended with an episode that spent almost no time addressing the series' overarching mythology. In a way, you had to have seen that coming after what we've gotten so far this season. Aside from a couple of detours (the Richard and Jacob flashbacks), Season 6 of Lost has, really, been about reestablishing the connections between the original castaways. It's been about this big idea that all of them are connected, intertwined by fate, and that in each other they found purpose and love and that they'd go on to live happily ever after, because hey, all you need is love. It was a strange turn for Lost to take, and it meant that the more scifi-ish and pulpy aspects of the show got pushed aside in order to focus on the show's new (and new-age) spiritual mantra. So as we approached the finale, it was pretty clear that Lost wasn't about to drop everything and explain what was up with Walt. The show had already made two concessions to answers-hungry fans this season, and both of those episodes felt ill-timed and underwhelming. That said, looking back, it's still pretty crazy to realize what a complete shift the show underwent when it transitioned from Seasons 4 and 5 into Season 6. By the time we arrived at the finale, the show wasn't even really concerned with a conventional narrative anymore. In the past, Lost was driven by both plot and character, by mystery and mythology. This season, and especially this finale, were 99% about the characters' spiritual journey towards salvation. Like it or not, this is where the show ended up. So in the contect of that direction, did the finale work? I think so - there's really not much to complain about when looking at this episode merely as a wrap-up of the most recent story arc. But in the context of the series as a whole? Was it justified for Lost to veer so off-course? Did Lost take the most satisfying, the most dramatically-rewarding path, the path that delivered the most payoff to the foundation laid out by the first few seasons of the show? No, I don't think it did. Now, if you were someone who sort-of enjoyed Lost but always hoped it'd drop all the weird island stuff and just be about love and magic and how we're all connected, then hey, you got your wish. But me? I loved Lost most when it was Desmond hurtling through time, or Charlie in the Hydra Station fighting off an eyepatched assassin, or Daniel Faraday realizing that due to a time paradox, his own mother was the one who killed him. I loved the character stuff - I loved John Locke's backstory, and Ben Linus' tragic upbringing, and Sawyer's long con. But I liked that these great characters were now thrust into this crazy, weird, mind-bending adventure. In Season 6 of Lost, there was a disconnect between the characters and what they were actually doing in each episode. They were too often simply going from Point A to Point B, doing Jacob's bidding just because. They themselves mostly stopped caring much about *why* anything was actually happening, and so, in turn, did we. The finale saw more of that type of storytelling, where the characters seemed to do things just because. Climb down the cave, remove the plug. Go back down the cave, save Desmond, and put the plug back in. Get to the plane, have obligatory debate about who stays and who goes. Drink from the sacred stream and once again pass on the mantle of Island Protector. It all felt very videogame-y, in a way. Drink the magic water, restore maximum health!

Still, this finale gave us some absolutely riveting sequences. My favorite was the absolutely epic confrontation between Jack and Not-Locke, high atop the island's rocky cliffs. Huge, huge kudos the crew for shooting an incredible action sequence, nearly biblical in its intensity and scope. I can't say I've ever seen something quite that "big" feeling on a TV show before - it really was awesome. In fact, every scene between Jack and Locke was pretty damn crackling. When Jack told Locke he planned to kill him, Locked asked him how, and Jack said "it's a surprise," well, that was a pretty great moment. The biggest stand-up-and-cheer moment? Definitely the reveal that fan favorite Lapidus was alive and well, floating in the ocean and just waiting to be rescued so he could fly a damn plane like he was meant to. Lapidus has really been an unsung MVP of the last few seasons of Lost, and he always gets the best one-liners. Well, he and Miles. So, it was great to see them alive and playing a crucial role in the finale. Plus, it goes without saying that Ben and Locke and Desmond are, as always, scene stealers. Michael Emerson, Terry O'Quinn, and Henry Ian Cusick are the show's trifecta of awesomeness - lending true gravitas to all scenes they're involved in. Loved Locke's scenes in the alternaverse hospital, and loved all of the epic scenes that showcased the rivalry between Not-Locke and Jack. Desmond was cool as always, brotha, and Ben, well, he had some of the night's most interesting scenes, especially at the end there outside of the church.

But, I do have to say that Ben's final fate was one of my biggest gripes of the night. It was only last week that Ben betrayed everyone and allied himself with The Smoke Monster. And now he was back to being sympathetic and on the side of the angels? Lost has gone to great lengths to show that Ben is a liar, a backstabber, and someone not to be trusted. It just rang false that suddenly he was Hurley's trusty right-hand man, and a guy who everyone was all happy and smiley to see as they prepared to go off together into the great white light. I mean, why is, say, Michael condemned to haunt the island, whereas Ben the mass murderer gets to join Jack and Kate in "heaven?" This, I think was the single biggest misfire of the finale.

Now, what about that ending? I'm still digesting it, to be honest, and yes, it's very much open to interpretation. What did the final, post-credits shot of the Flight 815 wreckage mean? Who knows - I'm sure people will be pondering that one for years. That said, we finally got an explanation of sorts as to the nature of the sideways universe. It seems as though it was a place somehow created by the collective willpower of the castaways - a purgatory of sorts, existing outside of time, that allowed their souls to reunite and find each other again. The reunion of each castaway to their "constant" seemed to trigger an influx of memories. Ultimately, many of the castaways - all of those "ready" for a happy ending - gathered in a church and went off together into the great unknown, presumably to find everlasting happiness in the light. This, of course, leaves a lot of open questions as to the fates of some key characters. Since Christian Shephard explains that the sideways universe exists outside of time, the castaways like Sawyer and Kate, who escaped the island, could very well have lived out their lives for years and years, before ultimately dying and ending up in this parallel world. Was Jack, in his last deed before dying, the one who "created" or enabled that universe by plugging up the cave? Maybe - it certainly seems likely. And how about Hurley? Do he and Ben live out their lives for thousands of years as island protectors? Did Ben do so much good in that time that he absolved himself of his past sins? We can only speculate. And why were some prominent characters not in the church? Why not Faraday? Because he hadn't yet truly connected with Charlotte in the sideways world?

It was an emotionally compelling ending for the show, but it was pretty far removed from anything else the show has done. I don't know - I remember hearing an interview with Matthew Fox from a while back where he said he thought it'd be fitting for Lost to end on a darker note - one in which Jack never ended up with Kate, or Juliette, or anyone. And at the time, I remember agreeing and hoping that would be the case - it just seemed to fit the somewhat tragic tone of most of the show. I found it a little too convenient that suddenly everyone had their star-crossed romance in the season finale. Jack and Kate didn't work when the show went there previously, why shoehorn it in now? Sayid and Shannon never had what really seemed like a true-love - it didn't really connect that they were each other's anchor, or constant, or whatever. I just felt like it was a little cheap - everyone on Lost was suddenly paired up as if they were at a high school dance. Most of these characters had never seemed destined to find true love or lasting happiness, but that's what we got - everyone holding hands, singing kumbaya, and heading off to enjoy everlasting love in the great beyond. Is that really what all these years of LOST had been building towards? I mean, look, with the stunning cinematography, the sweeping music ... it was easy to get caught up in the moment and maybe even get misty-eyed as our favorite characters rode off into the sunset. But was that the ending most true to the characters? I don't know - it was a very fairy-tale-like ending for a show that's always been grimmer and darker than that.

I do want to give one more shout-out though to the fantastic cast and crew of LOST. Watching the show has been an epic experience, and this finale would not have had the weight and resonance that it had if not for the years of great stories and memorable character moments that preceded it. Lost may have lost its way at times, but it was always able to transcend those faults due to the underlying strength of its premise, its production, and its characters. Few other series presented this sort of sprawling canvass on which great stories could be written and fantastic adventures could be had. It's been an amazing run, and even though I was quick to complain at times, I was always onboard, was always a fan, right up through to the end. One thing's for sure, there will never be another show quite like LOST. Thanks for reading - it's been a lot of fun writing, and I look forward to the next great adventure.

My Grade: B+


See you in another life, brotha!

May It Live Long and Prosper: The FRINGE Season Finale - Reviewed!

FRINGE Thoughts:

- What an amazing season it's been for FRINGE. Over the course of Season 2, Fringe has morphed from a pretty good show into a truly *great* one, and there's a strong argument to be made that it's the single best show on the air today. While some of TV's aging and soon-to-be-gone behemoth's have been struggling creatively, Fringe has been hitting its stride, delivering epic scifi TV week in and week out. For the last several weeks, what has been THE must-see drama on network TV? Not Lost, not 24 - no, the show to watch has been FRINGE. So congrats to all involved - cast, crew, etc. - on an absolutely phenomenal season of television.

As for last night's Part 2 of the two-part finale - once again, Fringe delivered the goods. I don't think this week quite matched the overall intensity and sense of wonder present in last week's game-changing episode, but still ... this was pretty badass.

In this one, we were thrown back into "the other side", the alternate reality where a cold, calculating, and still-sane Walter Bishop utilizes a bigger and badder Fringe Division to deal with otherdimensional phenomena. "Walternate" wants his son back, and now, he's finally united with Peter - taken back after 20 years spent in our world. But, Walternate doesn't just want Peter back so he can have a family reunion. No - in this episode we learn that Peter is the key to operating a device designed by his real father that could be used to destroy our dimension. Peter is informed of this by our version of Olivia, who is working with Walter and William Bell to bring Peter back to our world.

There were a ton of amazing, badass moments in this episode. First of all, hot damn, EMMYS FOR EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW. Watching JOHN F'N NOBLE portray two completely different versions of Walter Bishop was basically a master class in acting. Absolutely incredible to see Noble so convincingly portray a quivering madman and a stone-cold leader of men in one fell swoop. Just awesome. Similarly, how 'bout Anna Torv's excellent portrayal of Olivia's 1 and 2. Kudos to Torv for really stepping up to the plate anc convincingly and semi-subtlely portraying two characters as well. And yes, the catfight between the two Olivia's was pretty awesome - who doesn't love a good fight scene between evenly-matched otherdimensional dopplegangers?

And how about Leonard Nimoy?! It was great to see Bell finally get some substantial screentime, although it was bittersweet knowing that this was Nimoy's swan song as an actor. Nimoy's measured, calm presence was a great counterbalance to Walter's twitchy craziness, and the two had some incredible scenes together. I loved Walter's greeting to Bell. "Oh, hello Bellie. I see you've aged." And the scene in the alternaverse's Harvard lab, in which all of Walter's pent-up resentment for his old colleague came pouring out - well, sonofabitch, was that intense! Emmy moment, if ever-there was one! And Nimoy even got one last chance to be the badass - when he broke out his experimental Massive Dynamic heavy artillery, blasting a bunch of thugs to smithereens, it was a real "hells yeah!" type of moment. In all honesty though, Bell's ultimate fate was a little less explosive than I'd imagined. Especially given that Bell basically turned himself into a living nuclear reactor, his final goodbye seemed a tad muted. Still, it was awesome having Nimoy play a key role on Fringe, and dammit all, we salute you Sir for a distinguished and iconic acting career. May you live long and prosper.

You also had to love all the awesome work that the show put into differentiating the other side from our own world. From the big - Boston quarantined and people encased in amber, zepellins flying through an art-deco NYC skyline, etc. - to the small - like the alternate versions of classic comic book covers (Red Arrow / Red Lantern, a version of The Dark Knight Returns featuring Superman instead of Batman - and yes, I'm a nerd) that adorned the walls of Peter's alternaverse room.

And by the way, how about the revelation that Walter had devoted time in the 80's to uncovering all of the secret ingredients to KFC's chicken recipe? Classic.

I think my main quibble with this episode is simply that it felt a bit rushed. The overall pace was much slower than last week's action-packed epic, but it felt like some of the big character moments happened super-fast. I felt like we never 100% got inside Peter's head here. How tempted was he to stay on the other side? He sided with Olivia and Walter pretty quickly, and never really confronted Walternate to ask him about his allegedly sinister plans. I was also hoping to get more of a glimpse of the fascinating machine we saw in the schematics. With more time, it would have been cool to see Walternate's plans in their more advanced stages, with real universe-spanning stakes. It almost felt like Part 2 of a 3-part finale ... as there is now a TON of plot set to carry over into next season. Meanwhile, I think it was easy to predict that the other side's Olivia would eventually switch places with our version (why else give her the telltale tattoo?), but still, it made for a compelling cliffhanger. Other Olivia on our world, our Olivia locked up in a cell on their world.

Like I said, it's been a hell of a year for FRINGE. Sure, there have been a few hiccups (the ill-timed musical episode), but mostly, Fringe has become the new standard-bearer for mind-melting TV entertainment. With Lost about to end, I really hope that fans of JJ Abrams' other scifi TV show spend some quality time over the summer catching up on Fringe - Season 1 starts out slightly shaky, but by the end of that first season, the show is off to the races, and Season 2 is nonstop awesomeness for most of the way. By the latter half of Season 2, it's clear that Fringe had really evolved into something special - with a fascinating overarching plotline, lots of action and intrigue, some really emotional moments and character arcs, and one of the best TV performances I've ever seen in the form of John Noble as Walter Bishop.

All hail the new king of event television, and bring on Season 3.

My Grade: A-

Still A Long Way From "Super" - A Look at the SMALLVILLE Season Finale

So much to talk about - I'm backtracked on the blog and overrun with pressing topics, so let's not waste time here. All I know is, what a crazy week for all of us TV nerds. Seriously. 24 and Lost are ending. The network Upfronts reveal a new crop of contenders set to hit the airwaves next fall. Fringe - maybe the best show on TV for the last several months - has its sure-to-be-epic season finale tonight. And on top of all that, we're already in the midst of Summer Movie Season. I've been chomping at the bit to write up my reviews of ROBIN HOOD and MACGRUBER, and I promise, I'll have those soon.

But first, let me get to some TV STUFF before it gets too stale. Honestly, I was so pumped to write about 24 and Lost this week that I typed up those reviews as soon as possible. Doing that meant I didn't quite get to some other big shows and finales, so, here we go. For this post, I'll shine the spotlight on this past Friday's big season finale of Smallville, but, stay tuned for thoughts on Fringe, The Office, and more.

SMALLVILLE - Season Finale Review:

- This past season of Smallville seemed to rejuvinate the show's fanbase to some degree, and hey, that's cool. But personally, I felt like it was a season with a few huge highpoints, but that, in general, just felt worn out and tired. And that's what makes Smallville SUCH a frustrating show for many longtime fans like me. It features some of the most iconic, durable characters EVER in popular fiction. The potential for great stories and epic adventures is practically limitless. And every so often, an episode of Smallville comes along that reminds us just how great this show COULD be, if only the writers would take the initiative and ditch the series' played-out conventions for some truly exciting storytelling. A few months ago, comics writer Geoff Johns came onboard for a special, two-part episode and did just that. In one fell swoop, he showed us the kind of show that Smallville could be in the right hands. It was a great moment for the show - John's episode had a real magic to it that few other shows could ever be capable of. Quickly afterwords though, Smallville fell back into its usual routines. Smallville's characters are fun enough that the show is almost always watchable and entertaining, but the show is also one of the most formulaic on television. Given how much narrative freedom a fantasy show like this should have, it's amazing and frustrating how often Smallville resorts to the same old cliches. There's arguments and brooding about secret ID's and mixed messages and lack of communicaiton. There's people getting knocked unconcious just as Clark zooms in to save the day. There's endless conversations between morally gray antagonists that don't really go anywhere. There's endless emo-riffic, set-to-music scenes of Clark staring off into the distance at his family farm. Smallville is always at its best when it tries something different, and yet, so many times, it's the same old crap we've seen many times over. And this ninth season finale, despite having some entertaining moments, fell into that category. It didn't really feel special or epic, and that's a shame, because back in the day few shows did season finales like Smallville. Instead, this was a run-of-the-mill capper to a season's worth of run-of-the-mill storylines.

Zod and his Kandorian army served as the Big Bad's for this entire season, but they were never all that exciting or menacing. Think about it - what did Zod actually DO this season? The one time he and his army actually seemed badass was in the flashforward episode in which Clark glimpsed an apocalyptic future in which Zod had taken over earth. That episode did a nice job of raising the stakes, but there was never much follow-through. In the finale, when we were finally, after months of buildup, getting to the point where the Kandorians were actually threatening the earth, their actions were pretty underwhelming, to say the least. They burnt their symbol into some pyramids, flew around semi-menacingly, and that was about it. I mean, this is an ARMY of super-powered soldiers intent on taking over the world. Their first strikes should have been epic and devastating. There should have been panic in the streets, and a true heroic force should have been needed to take them down. Instead, we got glimpses of the proto-Justice League via satellite communications with Clark, and a final showdown that was not exactly big and climactic. Okay, it was more satisfying than last season's very un-epic throwdown with Doomsday, but still. Clark basically teleported Zod and his goons off of earth, and then, before he got pulled in along with them, stabbed himself with depowering blue kryptonite so he could remain on earth. In and of itself, it wasn't a terrible way to resolve the Zod plotline, but this is a story that has been built up for THE ENTIRE SEASON. A little more chaos and conflict would have been nice. But hey, I give Callium Blue credit -- as annoying as Zod got, and as many times as he was forced to say "Kneel Before Zod" (to the point where one of the all-time badass catchphrases actually became annoying as hell!) -- he still gave it his best and was clearly doing what he could to create a credible threat in Zod.

Meanwhile, there was the ongoing Clark/Lois/Blur love triangle. I like the chemistry between Tom Welling and Erica Durance on the show, and Lois is, in general, a much more fun character than Lana ever was. That said, I mostly hate this whole storyline. Not only is is just pretty absurd in general, but it's far too similar to the conflict that Clark had with Lana for so many years. I talked about Smallville's bag o' cliches up top, but good lord, how many times has Smallville framed its storylines around the whole "are you keeping secrets from me?" thing. Enough already! The fact that Clark just let Lois walk away and take a reporting assignment in Africa was just groan-worthy. I mean, come on! Smallville always thinks it can drag out its storylines for years at a time. But the reality is, I have no desire to watch Clark and Lois go back-and-forth every week and ultimately end up back at square one. It makes no sense at this point, and it just comes off as lame. Even cheesier was the Blur's kiss with Lois. Ugh. I hate The Blur, aka the man who can hide his identity from his girlfriend by standing under shadowy awnings at just the right angle. Hopefully, the show can just kick things off with Lois and Clark fully aware of each other's big secrets and on good terms next season. And hopefully, NO MORE BLUR.

Interestingly, the episode kicked off with a prolonged glimpse of the future thanks to Dr. Fate's helmet. In the sequence, set in 2013, we see a version of Superman's classic coming-out party from the comics, in which he saves a plane from crashing and reveals himself to the world. It was sort of cool, but again, just a tease. At the least, I hope that next season, even if Clark isn't Superman, he starts to act like Superman. No more brooding, no more stoicism, no more emo-ness. For once, can't we get Clark finally be inspirational, heroic, proactive, and a man of action? And can we get some writing that thinks of better ways for him to hide his identity other than conveniently magical shadows and/or people being knocked unconcious as soon as he arrives on the scene?

In a lot of ways, I admire Smallville. I admire the fact that it's lasted this long, despite never getting a ton of hype from the mainstream press. I admire the fact that it's a fun show that has, despite its faults, increasingly embraced its superhero-fantasy roots and brought a lot of fun concepts from the pages of DC Comics onto the small screen. A lot of times I'll say that I've stuck with Smallville more because I'm a Superman fan than because I truly love the show. But you know what? There is a certain spark to Smallville that keeps me coming back. I mean, look, I don't think that the last few "big" storylines - Doomsday, Zod, etc. - have been handled exceedingly well. But they were ambitious, at least. And this finale hinted at even bigger things to come. Darkseid? Parademons? Apokolips? Maybe. And man, I'd be curious to see how Smallville attempts to handle Jack Kirby's epic Fourth World storylines. You've got to be a bit skeptical at this point, but still, it will be really interesting to see where Smallville goes from here. They introduced the blue and red suit in this ep - we didn't even see it, but we know it's there. The seeds are planted for greatness. The question is: will the show raise the bar? I mean, look, I'd take this season any day over the godawful "Lana Lang has become a witch" storylines of years gone by. I guess you could say that Smallville has settled into a quality level of solid-yet-unspectacular storytelling as of late, with its fair share of mediocre concepts (hello, Blur) dragging down the good stuff. But hey, Season 10 is the final season. I'd love it if this little-show-that-could went from only-okay to truly "super" before all is said and done.

My Grade: B-

The Penultimate Episode of LOST - Reviewed!

LOST Thoughts:

- After last week's disappointing Jacob / Smokey origin story, I predicted that the final two episodes of LOST would end up being, practically by default, an improvement. Even if LOST was poised to end on something of an unfulfilling note, there was no question that the show would to some degree rebound from the low point that was "Across the Sea." And the reason for that is simple: Lost's achilles heel in this final season is its coming-apart-at-the-seams mythology, but its strength has ALWAYS been, and continues to be, its characters. The high-concept of the pilot episode caught our attention, but it was the examination of what made John Locke tick in "Walkabout" that quickly solidified Lost as something truly special. Even as the show's once-captivating mythology devolves into indecipherable mumbo-jumbo concerning magic caves and immortal candidates, we still can't help but care about Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sawyer, Locke, Miles, Ben, Richard, and Desmond. Those are some of the best characters on TV. At this point, we're watching more for them than for anything else. Who would have thunk it? Lost's ultimate trump card isn't some uber-secret about the nature of the island. No, it's "what happens to Ben?" "What happens to Jack?" That's both a testament to some of the great character work that Lost has done over the years, and a knock against how much the show's overarching storylines have failed to come together in any meaningful way. But hey, this penultimate episode was, for the most part, about character. And for that reason, there was a lot to like.

To me, the star of this next-to-last Lost was Ben Linus. It goes to show how much of an MVP Michael Emerson has been in this already-legendary TV role. He made Ben so oddly likable that at every turn we wanted to make him sympathetic. We wanted to believe he was headed for some sort of redemption. But even as we felt for Ben's remorse over his falled adoptive daughter, we were quickly reminded that Ben is the ultimate evil lackey. He's a snake in the grass, a liar, a cheat, a backstabber. We smile in recognition as Ben's true colors are revealed, even as we express disbelief that he suckered us in once again. In this episode, Ben once again sided with the Smoke Monster, not only using him to get his ultimate revenge on Whidmore, but gleefully doing his bidding with the mindset that the more murderous, the better. The dynamic reminded me of Stephen King's THE STAND - a story that Lost has often borrowed from and paid tribute to. But the endgame between Ben and Smokey had a similar feel to the way in which a character like Harold Lauder (similarly snivelling and conniving as compared to Ben) was ultimately forced to reveal his true colors in the name of serving the Dark Man - siding with the devil even after trying in vain to fit in amongst the angels. In any case, I loved all of the Ben / Not-Locke interaction in this one. For me, it was the scenes between them that made the episode.

That said ... WTF with regards to Widmore?! I mean, I guess in a way we all saw it coming - this whole season has in some ways been a slap in the face to those of us who felt that LOST was at its best when it brought in the great Alan Dale as Widmore and built him up as the show's Big Bad - a formidable rival to Ben and an arch-nemesis for Desmond. This season, Widmore has been one giant plot device, and it's been frustrating to watch. But ... to have Widmore's story end with a quick, half-assed explanation of how Jacob came to him and "showed him the error of his ways" ...? To have that one, almost throwaway line of dialogue followed by Ben shooting his rival dead before Smokey had the chance to off him himself? THAT was the dramatic end of Lost's would-be uber-villain? And THAT was the explanation for Widmore's involvement in this season? He had a change of heart? Not the dramatic send-off I had hoped for ... not at all. It made the entire character, and all of the plot threads that stemmed from him, seem like a waste of time. And that, I'm sorry to say, is a shame, and a major, major misfire as we head into the finale.

While I'm ranting, I may as well go ahead and talk about the campfire scene with Jacob, who, despite having been a ghost that can only appear to Hurley for a long, long time now, was now back in the land of the living, even if his remaining existence was intertwined with a fire that was burning on the island. When the fire goes out, Jacob is no more. Umm ... okay? More magic, I guess? I don't know, it seemed more like lazy writing to me. But yeah, Jacob was back, and he has a sitdown chat with Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley that was "classic" Lost. And by classic, I mean emblematic of the show at its hair-pulling worst. Jacob plays "20 Questions" with the castaways, and of course none of them has ever heard of the concept of a follow-up question. It speaks to the fact that we've now been through this same rigamaroll on Lost countless times that, at this point, I was barely fazed by the ridiculous manner in which the whole conversation played out.

Let's see: Thousands of years ago on the island, Jacob threw his evil twin brother into a magic cave and turned him into a monster. Jacob then assumed the role of the island's protector, making sure that the monster couldn't get back into the cave which birthed him, even though the monster, we think, was not so much interested in the cave, because, really, he just wanted to get off the island. At some point, Jacob started bringing random groups of flawed people to the island, so that one of them could assume his role as island protector / Smoke Monster-fighter when he was gone. Even though Jacob put the various candidates through all sorts of tests and trials and waited in the shadows for years as they killed each other, travelled through time, etc., eventually, Jacob declares that ANY of the castaways could become his successor - whoever wants the job has it. Jack wants the job - no surprise there. He drinks some holy water, is granted magical Jacob powers, and lo, the island hath a new protector. Meanwhile, the Smoke Monster's updated list of goals include: killing Jacob, getting off the island, and destroying the island.

Hmm ... what was that I was saying in my opening about how Lost's mythology has sort of broken down of late?

In any case, a lot of this episode's action happened in the flash-sideways world, which had a nice sense of urgency to it this week thansk to Desmond's frenzied quest to bring the various castaways together again. There were some interesting moments in the alternaverse - Jack's domestic life with Claire and his son, and Ben's budding relationship with Alex and Danielle Rouseau. But, here's another situation where we've had SO much buildup with these sideways flashes that its unlikely if not impossible that the payoff will be proportionate. It's another instance where you have to seriously question the show's sense of pacing. Just as it made little sense to hold the Jacob origin until the third-to-last episode, why wait until the series finale to reveal the nature of the sideways world? If we knew the stakes earlier, then all of these sideways scenes would be infinitely more dramatic. But oh no, Lost has gotten so caught up in the idea that "everything is a mystery until the cold, bitter, end" that it stubbornly refuses to show any of its cards until it literally has no choice but to fold. Sunday is it though - the series friggin' finale. What can LOST do at this point? The fact is, the show has spent a whole season deliberately putting its eggs in the Jacob/Smokey basket. That's where we are now - I don't see any reason to expect a trademark "game-changer" to end it all, but hey, I'm also open to being pleasantly surprised.

Ultimately, this episode worked because it was a showcase for the likes of Michael Emerson, Terry O'Quinn, and the rest of the show's stellar cast. I really dug the Ben Linus stuff in this one. I liked a lot of the little scenes as well - Miles' cracks about Ben's secret room, Desmond's zen-like pursuit of cosmic harmony in the alternaverse, the parallels between good-Ben in the sideways world and bad-Ben on the island. On a grander thematic level, there was some really nice character stuff in this one, some real food for thought. At the same time, I think back to Widmore's change of heart and hasty demise, to Jacob's inexplicable return and transfer of power to Jack, and, well, you really see the cracks in the proverbial armor.

My Grade: B

Jack Bauer Is COMING TO GET YOU! The Penultimate Episode of TWENTY FOUR (24!)~!

TWENTY MUTHA-FRACKIN' FOUR (24~!) Review:

Note: The following rant was written by a man in a state of gravitas-induced adrenaline-overload. Read at your own peril.



- You know, there's a reason why, back in December, I named 24 as my #1 show of the decade. There's a reason why, when all is said and done, I will be incredibly sad that 24 is off the air. There's a reason that, despite an uneven final season, 24 continues to be *the* must-watch show on television ...

AND THIS, MY FRIENDS, WAS IT.

Because, holy Soulpatch-on-a-Stick, this episode of 24 BROUGHT THE PAIN and yes, KICKED MY ASS SEVEN WAYS TO SUNDAY. This truly was an hour of power, Bauer-style.

I think the moment that finally turned this season around was when Cole told Chloe the other week that "there were no good guys anymore." The President, Jack ... all of them were operating in a morally grey area, moving further and further away from the side of the angels. This to me was a key moment because it allowed the show to finally drop any pretense that Jack was doing what was "right," in trying to expose the Russians' involvement in the attempted attack on NYC. Jack isn't a "good guy" anymore. He's a psycho hellbent on revenge. We've all come to terms with that, so ... now we can have some fun with it, and see just how far he'll go.

And boy, did he go all-out INSANE in this one. But man, it made for one hell of an entertaining romp. Jack strapping on a metal assault suit, complete with Iron Man-style face mask, and essentially taking an entire NYC commuter tunnel hostage in order to hijack Logan's car ... well, holy crap - it was one of the most flat-out awesome scenes in 24 history. Jack has always been a sort of proto-Batman, and this jaw-dropping, gravitas-doused scene took that comparison to its logical extremes. Jack became a full-on urban vigilante. And man, I think even the Punisher would be quaking in his boots if he had run into the armored-up Jack attack in full-blown rage mode. The combination of Jack's single-minded assault and Logan's petrified squeels of terror mixed together to create a potent stew of awesome sauce. I mean, DAMN. What a sequence. The follow-up interrogation of the snivelling Logan was similarly classic. Logan was rightfully petrified of Jack, and man, it's always a pleasure to see those two interact.

Speaking of Logan, how hilariously crazy were his scenes with the President?! God, that man is so snake-like it's scary. I was cracking up as he held Taylor in the palm of his serpentine hand - he'd already convinced her to put the hit out on Jack and to install his man as head of CTU - now he was getting her to supress the press and make sure that Dana Walsh's evidence of the conspiracy never sees the light of day. As frustrating as it's been to see Taylor go back and forth so much on Logan, seeing her now firmly haven fallen into the abyss, with seemingly no way out, is proving pretty darn entertaining. I blame lack of sleep for her descent down the slippery slope of moral corruption. I mean, it can't be easy making rational choices on zero hours of zzz's, right?

The one big sin this episode committed? They teased us with a line of dialogue from Chloe that had me jumping out of my seat in an excited state of frenzy. As Chloe explained that "there was one" off-the-grid agent who could help her out in her time of need, the 24 faithful couldn't help but jump to various conclusions as to this mystery man's identity. Could it be - dare we dream? - the Soulpatched one, Tony Almeida? Back from the darkside and ready for one last shot at redemption? Or, could it be Aaron Pierce, Agent of Awesome, 24's true moral compass and the one man possessing of near-equal amounts of gravitas as compared to Jack himself? As the clock ticked toward commercial, my brother and I pumped our fists in anticipation - finally, 24 would come full-circle in its final hours, and reintroduce a fan favorite character to add that one last exclamation point to an already off-the-charts episode. But, it was not meant to be. The agent of which Chloe spoke was simply Cole, Freddie Prinze Jr, who was locked up in a CTU holding cell. Sure, it made sense in the context of this season's plotlines, but still ... why tease us with such a dramatic, cut-to-commercial cliffhanger, if the payoff wasn't suitably huge? I don't really see how an Aaron Pierce can be introduced at this point, but ... who cares! Make it happen, 24 - all bets are off at this point. Unite the show's surviving heroes for one last stand against the world, dammit!

That said, taken on its own terms, this was still one incredibly badass episode of 24. It stands to reason that this monster of an episode should fall on the same day that many of the networks unveilled their new Fall TV lineups. Because, sure, there are some interesting new shows on the horizon, but what series will rise up to replace 24 in our hearts and minds, I ask you? The answer, of course, is none! No other show would have the balls to have a half-crazed psycho-sadist on a tear in an NYC tunnel, decked-out in a metal assault suit with nothing on his mind but sweet, unholy vengeance. 24 at its best is in a league of its own - it's pulp-fiction espionage-action at its hardcore best. And after a rocky season, I'm happy to say that it looks like we're in store for one hell of a finale. We're on the edge, on the precipice, staring out into the abyss, baby. The end is nigh. But who would you want to usher you into a violent, flaming apocalypse if not Jack by-god Bauer? Because Jack - it is written - shall bring the pain. Upload it to your PDA, read it back in real-time, and take that to the bank.

My Grade: A

Must Go Faster! I Met Jeff Goldblum! Plus: FRINGE Goes Insane! And More!

So this week, I had a true only-in-Hollywood moment. Throughout the week, The Cable Show has been taking place here in LA. The show is a huge gathering of cable industry types from across the country, and this year's event was headquartered in downtown LA. I am kind of on the fringes of the cable world, as I am more on the digital side of things - but there's crossover in my group, as some of my colleagues work closely with the big cable companies to manage the relationships with their on-demand platforms and such. Anyways, our whole group was invited to attend the show's big party on Wednesday night, at Universal Studios theme park. The epicenter of the party was the inside of the Globe Theater, where all of NBCU's various cable nets had booths set up, all of which featured talent on-hand from their various TV shows. Chris Matthews and Joe Scarborough were there from MSNBC, holding court. Mel B of Spice Girls fame was there, as were Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth from Sunday Night Football. The Real Housewives of New Jersey were on hand, and I snapped photos with them, as well as with Ming Na of Stargate Universe. But I have to say, the highlight of the night was briefly meeting and getting a picture with one of my all-time favorite actors ... you guessed it ... Jeff Goldblum. As a young and geeky nice Jewish boy, I grew up on Goldblum's movies. Jurassic Park and Independence Day were two of the first big "event" movies of my youth, movies that left me completely blown away and giddy from sensory overload. But Goldblum helped to give those films quirky charm and wit, intelligence and humor. Plus, he's quite simply the man. The Fly. Buckaroo Banzai. This one super-awesome episode of The Ray Bradbury Theater. The Life Aquatic. His zany talk show appearances on Conan O'Brien. The hilarious way in which he recently handled premature rumors of his demise. And yes, the all-time classic Simpsons cameo featuring Planet of the Apes: The Musical ("it's the part I was born to play!"). Yep, you've got to love Goldblum. The guy is just 100% unique, and makes every movie or TV show that he's in that much better. And hey, he's a hero to awkward Jews and film geeks everywhere! In any case, that was one of the most surreal, "am I really here?" moments for me that I've had since moving to LA. If you had told my childhood self that I'd meet Dr. Ian Malcolm, my childhood self would probably flip the freak out. That's right, readers, the hometown boy has hit the bigtime!

Check out some pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2522934&id=901715&l=31c480a22e


Meanwhile, how about them CELTICS ...?! What an amazing series from the Celts against LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. I know, all everyone wants to talk about is the self-destruction of the Cavs and the future of King James. And I admit, it's pretty fascinating. Rarely has a team with so much championship expectation had such a sudden and surprising collapse, to the point where the Cavs looked like they just didn't care anymore by the end of that final fourth quarter in Game 6. It's going to be interesting to see what LeBron does, but for now, I have to admit that I somewhat feel bad for Cavs fans. LeBron and the Cavs are a likeable team, and it was surreal to see them at such a low point. At the same time, it's great to see the Celtics back firing on all cylinders. The emergence of Rondo as a legit star point guard has kept the C's afloat this season and thus far in the playoffs ... but that Game 6 was so encouraging because Kevin Garnett was back and playing extremely well. Ray Allen has been pretty solid for several games now. And I feel like Pierce is due for some monster games against Orlando. The Celtics are a dangerous team if they are getting contributions from the Big 3 plus Rondo - I'm curious to see them match-up against the new-look Magic. It's going to be a really fun series.


TV STUFF:


FRINGE Thoughts:

- Holy crap, not THAT's how you kick off a season finale. Last night's mind-blowing episode of FRINGE, the first of a two-part season ender, was positively overflowing with crazy concepts and epic action, to the point that you almost had to pause and rewind several times just to make sure you didn't miss anything. In a way, it was almost jarring to see just how far-out Fringe was willing to go to tell its universe-spanning story. When you think back at Fringe's origins as a more grounded pseudo-procedural with a supernatural twist, it was crazy watching this episode, as it officially morphed Fringe into a full on sci-fi action epic. Not that there's anything wrong with that, per se. When it first premiered, Fringe couldn't quite shake the spectre of its supirtual predecessors like The X-Files. But, whoah boy, Fringe is now something else entirely - an all-out sensory assualt, with all the intrigue of a high-tech summer blockbuster, mixed with some real heart and intelligence. I got the same feeling I did from watching this episode as I did from reading Warren Ellis' landmark comic PLANETARY back in the day - an unparallelled sense of awe and wonder. Epic, imagination-fueled adventure with a hardcore scientific slant. Suffice it to say, if I had to sum up this episode in a word, it'd be: awesome.

Rarely has a show packed so many gravitas-infused moments into a single episode. I mean, how about that cold open? Holy lord. We're dropped down right into the middle of some Earth 2 action, as we're introduced to the other side's Fringe Division, a full-on task force that includes a red-haired, badass version of Olivia, a bald and still-alive Charlie, and a superhero-esque version of Broyles, decked out in Nick Fury-esque action gear. The awesomeness of the info-overload was almost too much. There was that disorienting yet exciting feeling of "damn, what craziness have we just been dropped into?" And that was compounded when we realized that our universe's Walter and Olivia were there on Earth 2, hiding from their otherdimensional counterparts. As the Fringe opening credits played, with the usual blue background replaced by an apocalyptic red, it was a true "holy $%&$!" moment. Business was about to pick up.

By the way, I always talk about how John Noble basically needs an Emmy for his drop-dead-awesome portrayal of Dr. Walter Bishop. Well, in this ep he played two friggin' versions of Bishop that were completely distinct and different, and yet both kickass. Ahhhh - best actor on TV. But ... how about Lance Reddick as Broyles? Holy lord, when he busted into Nina Sharp's office at Massive Dynamic accusing her of selling weapons to the other side, well, there was so much gravitas I thought the TV screen might explode.

How about the crazy drawings that one of the Observers dropped off for Olivia, depicting some insane mad-science machine with Peter at its core. What the hell was that? Will Peter be some sort of conduit between dimensions? Will he exist in all dimensions at once, somehow? Or will he just destroy the entire universe? No idea, but, dayum, that schematic drawing was all kinds of awesome. Speaking of Peter, the reunion with his true mother on Earth 2 gave the episode a lot of its heart and soul. Some really excellent work from Joshua Jackson, who has really become pretty outstanding in his own right as Peter Bishop.

And the icing on the cake? Leonard Nimoy back as William Bell, in what appears to be his last-ever role before he retires from acting. To the casual observer, it may seem odd for Spock to go out with this relatively minor TV role, but I have faith in Fringe to give him one hell of a sendoff. It was great to see Nimoy back in this one, and he had some really cool scenes. I cannot wait to see how Bell plays into next week's finale.

Also, all the details big and small on Earth 2 were just so well-done, from "President MLK" to the West Wing still on in Season 11. I loved the overall sense of darkness and paranoia that permeated the alternaverse, from the Orwellian ID cards to the almost scary medical technology. I was somewhat shocked that there was still hope for that one poor guy who got flamebroiled in this ep.

And on that note, this ep wasn't just content to stick to the usual Fringe cast of characters. We were also introduced to an X-Men-like group of Cortexifan trial participants who each had some sort of supernatural power. It was a bit jarring, maybe a bit much, to have these comic book-esque characters introduced (and then mostly offed) so quickly, but it added to the feeling that this Fringe finale was absolutely steamrolling full-speed ahead towards an epic climax. The revelations were coming fast and furious - it was almost too much, but the chaos definitely made for some ultra-compelling television. They even had Walter speculate about aliens at one point as having some role in human and metahuman evolution. WTF! Aliens? Aliens! Yeah, Fringe just couldn't seem to leave anything on the table in this one, and hey, that was part of the fun.

Fringe has never been this balls-to-the-wall or action-oriented before. It almost felt like a whole new TV show than what we are used to. But the whole thing was so much fun, it was hard to care. I can't wait to see what's in store in Part 2.

My Grade: A



RAPID-FIRE COMEDY THOUGHTS:


- COMMUNITY continues its hot streak, with another absolutely hilarious episode. Annie ratting out Senor Chang made for some great moments. Bring on Anthroplogy class!

My Grade: A-


- PARKS AND RECREATION had a really well-done episode last night, maybe even a return to form. The introduction of Rob Lowe and Adam Scott to the cast gave the show a renewed sense of energy, and the Andy-April would-be romance continues to be both sweet and the inspiration for some very funny interactions.

My Grade: A-


- THE OFFICE really made me laugh last night. The cold open rocked, Dwight and Angela's baby-making negotiations were hilarious, and Michael Scott's decision as to whether to continue his relationship with a married woman was alternately funny and dark - in other words, classic Office.

My Grade: A-


- Meanwhile, 30 ROCK had one of its funniest episodes in a while. While I'm getting a little tired of Jack's neverending love triangle, this one compensated for the starting-to-drag storyline with a hilarious Tracy Morgan subplot, in which he grappled between doing a prestigious Oscar-bait pic versus the voice for the next CGI Garfield flick. Also, Jon Hamm with hook hands.

My Grade: A-


- So, not to sound too nerdy (too late, I'm sure), but between FRINGE and the NBC comedies, this was pretty much the best night of TV in a long time. Good TV overload, dude.


- Also, MODERN FAMILY had one of its better episodes in a while this week. I am still a little worn out with the show's new pattern of EVERY episode ending with a group-hug and a life lesson (since when is this Full House?), but, there were enough very-funny moments in this one (Phil on top of Jay in the hammock, Mitchell and Cameron losing Lilly in an elevator), that it was still extremely enjoyable.

My Grade: B+



Okay, time for the weekend. Thanks for reading!